i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
