I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
