I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall