Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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  (949): She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree. http://tfl.nu/gm08
  Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (529)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?

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  (519): why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong? http://tfl.nu/074u
  Replies (58) Good night (1363) Bad night (3612)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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  (941): Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there. (1-941): That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis. http://tfl.nu/r1u9
  Replies (36) Good night (1109) Bad night (3528)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".

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  (304): You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces". http://tfl.nu/rjzc
  Replies (5) Good night (3952) Bad night (1195)
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  (916): View more from California

  We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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  (916): We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712
  Replies (17) Good night (926) Bad night (4408)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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  (405): defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far. http://tfl.nu/t2l0
  Replies (24) Good night (4411) Bad night (1463)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  soo how bad was i last night?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.

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  (402): soo how bad was i last night? (1-402): licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad. http://tfl.nu/4qt2
  Replies (4) Good night (1197) Bad night (2116)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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  (614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (701)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person

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  (541): I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person http://tfl.nu/p4il
  Replies (11) Good night (2364) Bad night (657)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (1714)
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  (650): View more from California

  Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.

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  (650): Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget. http://tfl.nu/sye0
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (422)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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  (630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1283) Bad night (496)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

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  (571): A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place http://tfl.nu/vals
  Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (383)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.

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  (701): I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now. http://tfl.nu/69o3
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (307)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (228)

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