Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  True life - we need to smoke together more often

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  (516): Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters. (1-516): True life - we need to smoke together more often http://tfl.nu/s2bm
  Replies (8) Good night (3853) Bad night (508)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles

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  (972): it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles http://tfl.nu/ysqd
  Replies (26) Good night (1067) Bad night (5135)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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  (334): I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment. http://tfl.nu/dpzt
  Replies (26) Good night (641) Bad night (3501)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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  (504): Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks http://tfl.nu/9to0
  Replies (11) Good night (5134) Bad night (1769)
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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  (530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88
  Replies (13) Good night (5104) Bad night (1066)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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  (828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6
  Replies (17) Good night (5611) Bad night (1040)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2405) Bad night (1454)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.

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  (250): Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/6hpj
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (2423)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1550) Bad night (847)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.

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  (503): Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home. http://tfl.nu/ow7v
  Replies (6) Good night (3333) Bad night (587)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1639) Bad night (441)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

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  (203): I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha http://tfl.nu/gfdl
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (372)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?

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  (732): I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet? http://tfl.nu/fv2m
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (189)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (346) Bad night (257)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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  (804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb
  Replies (0) Good night (149) Bad night (390)

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