Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.

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  (201): She's NOT homeless...she graduated early. http://tfl.nu/5ymo
  Replies (11) Good night (2966) Bad night (639)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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  (479): I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary. http://tfl.nu/vju6
  Replies (25) Good night (1205) Bad night (4727)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

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  (270): The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips... http://tfl.nu/unl6
  Replies (8) Good night (5324) Bad night (1492)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

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  (423): it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise. http://tfl.nu/943e
  Replies (25) Good night (7492) Bad night (1001)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

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  (405): Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring http://tfl.nu/7l8r
  Replies (9) Good night (2304) Bad night (776)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

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  (803): the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/ly2i
  Replies (12) Good night (8027) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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  (828): Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes. http://tfl.nu/k70t
  Replies (9) Good night (1654) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.

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  (910): Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick. http://tfl.nu/tlv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1549) Bad night (515)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while

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  (732): i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while http://tfl.nu/tvzl
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.

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  (859): So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara. http://tfl.nu/jqcr
  Replies (13) Good night (866) Bad night (1434)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME

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  (541): next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME http://tfl.nu/v34b
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging

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  (714): I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging http://tfl.nu/ow1d
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers

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  (818): You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers http://tfl.nu/8klr
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (350)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick

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  (508): He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick http://tfl.nu/aj8w
  Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You're the only person not starstruck by him

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.

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  (212): You're the only person not starstruck by him (302): Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls. http://tfl.nu/rlsa
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (201)

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