I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking