Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.