My sheets look like a crime scene.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
