You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
