Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
