I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
