it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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