you guys were way drunker than both of me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
