Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
