I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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