Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
