No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
