she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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