i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
