let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's always time for handjobs
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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