Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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