Who did Billy Mays play for?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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