so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
