In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
