My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
