so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
