Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
