I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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