whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
