She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
