haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
