Three words: puerto rican gang bang
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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