You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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