I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
