i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drunk is not a location!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
