how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
