They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
