I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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