distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
