Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
