In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
