so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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