i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize