high people should be assigned attendants
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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