just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
