I wish I could teleport
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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