Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
