Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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