"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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