Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
