dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
