I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
