I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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