did you get engaged???
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
