My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
