were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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