So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
