no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I die, sorry about rent.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
