If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
