When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
