I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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