Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize