awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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