i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
that may or may not have been my penis.
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