Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
