she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You did what with his pubic hair?
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