grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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