you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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