The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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