I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
